


a splinter in the light

by darth_stitch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Genre: Bucky Bear - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Romance, SNRFB, Steve's Disappointed Face, count buckula
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 01:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4160580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of ficlets, drabbles and headcanons featuring our two favorite Brooklyn Boys being stupidly adorable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kiss

If anyone asked Bucky Barnes, (not that anyone wanted to listen, seriously, he was just best friends with the man for more than seventy years, what did he know anyway, right?), he could tell you Steve Rogers’  _real_ superpower.

It was the “I Am Disappointed In You, Because You Are Better Than This And You _Can_ Be Better Than This” Face. 

Tony Stark would like to state that this was probably due to Steve being Captain America.  Being the literal embodiment of all that is good and right in the dear ol’ U.S. of A lent a person some serious clout in that department.

Tony Stark is a genius.  He’s also dead wrong. 

That Face was a product of Irish genetics and the fact that at heart, Steve Rogers was his Mam’s son, through and through.  Sarah Rogers had been known to wield that “Disappointed Face” with devastating effect.  It had brought even Bucky’s old Grampy to his knees - who had more than a few centuries under his belt, had faced marauding Turks, impaled his enemies and sown terror throughout Eastern Europe. 

Yeah, there's a bit of a long story behind the man named Gabriel Belmont Barnes but that's something for another day.  The facts of the matter are these:

Grampy had absolutely  _no_ defense for That Face.  He couldn’t withstand it from Sarah Rogers.  He couldn’t withstand it from her boy, either. 

Bucky has only been the recipient of That Face only once in his life.  Bucky was eight years old, he was being a stupid ass jerk and he knew he was pushing it.  He doesn’t like going into detail about the specifics of that memory.  But naturally, because Someone or Something Up There has it in for him, it was one that eventually came back to him with crystal clarity. 

Steve leveled that Look on him. 

Bucky found himself with tears in his eyes and apologized immediately thereafter.  He swore to himself he’d never give Steve cause to _Look_ at him that way again. 

Also, that was the moment he realized he was stupidly gone on his tiny, dandelion-haired floof of a punk, because the next day, he gave Steve a precious Cracker Jack baseball card just so to see him smile instead.

***

The serum gave Steve Rogers the gift of an eidectic memory, but there is one in particular, that he can never quite clearly recall.

What he does remember was that he was seven years old and Bucky was eight and that what Bucky had done was so hurtful and so surprising that Steve had simply stared at him dumbly.  This was a rare thing - Steve usually had something to say or his tiny fists would fly.  But this was Bucky. 

So Steve just _looked_ at him.

And he remembered hurting, this ache right in his chest, like he was about to get sick again, only it wasn’t the kind of sickness that usually ended up with Steve in bed and his Mam possibly calling for Father Ryan again. 

But it didn’t take long for Bucky’s own eyes to fill with tears and he said he was very sorry indeed and Steve forgave him because Bucky was his best friend and Bucky was, in fact, someone to be counted on to be the best fella and best friend a kid could have.

Steve still has that baseball card that Bucky gave him - which was kind of a miracle in itself, that it somehow survived seventy-odd years.   He’s told that the damn thing is somehow now an incredibly valuable collectible in itself but Steve cherishes that fragile piece of cardboard for entirely different reasons. Bucky actually gave him a kiss to go along with that card, only it was a noisy wet smack on the cheek. 

Steve blinked and said, “I ain’t no girl, Bucko. Why’d ya go kiss me for?”

And Bucky had red splotches on his cheeks but had responded with, “I ain’t ever heard of no law sayin’ you can’t give your best pal a kiss on the cheek and you’re my best pal so there.  I just ain’t kissin’ you on the lips.  Yuck.”

“Yuck."  Steve agreed.

But of course, ten years later, there was no ‘yuck’ involved  when they both discovered that there was a lot of good to be said when it came to kisses on the lips.    
  
Steve still maintains, playfully, that his first kiss from Bucky was still a memorable one, even if his aim was a little off.

_\- end -_


	2. sugar baby

“You rationed, sugar?” was a classic Bucky line that somehow managed to sound absolutely charming if Bucky said it.

Steve fell for it **every**. **damn**. **time**.  
  
He was hopelessly gone on his best guy, he knew this.  Once upon a time, Peggy spent about fifteen minutes laughing at him when she witnessed their “ridiculous attempts at flirting, dear God, Rogers, make him work for it a little!”  
  
“But Peggy - ”  
  
“I don’t care if he gives you that pathetic big-eyed kitten look.  _Resist_ , Rogers!  RESIST!"  
  
He tried.  Really, he tried.  But he always ended up giving some sugar to his best guy.  Among other things.  
  
However, Steve unintentionally wreaked his revenge when the USO girls taught him the benefits of cherry pink lip gloss... well, _lip_ _balm._  

A digression.  This was really for practical reasons, because they had toured in some fairly cold places and chapped lips were _not_ fun, serum or no serum.  The ladies, all of whom had become Steve's friends, were always willing to help out a friend in dire need.  Also, the ladies were rather.... _entertained_ by Bucky's reactions.   
  
Apparently, seeing him in cherry pink lip gloss Did Things to Bucky.  Wonderful, ridiculous, silly things.  Especially when Bucky was spotted with some of the lip balm on his _own_ lips, in the same way one would get it if one happened to _kiss_ a person wearing said lip balm.   
  
"Aw, baby, gimme some sugar.  Please?”  
  
How the hell was Steve going to resist _that_ , especially when coupled with Bucky’s big-eyed unspeakably adorable kitten look?  
  
Eventually, it became habit and seventy odd years later, the following conversation happened.  
  
“Sugar, please?"  Bucky had actually meant sugar, for his coffee.  But Steve, due to long force of habit and the fact that he was not fully awake yet, simply bent over to give him a kiss.  
  
Bucky was perfectly happy with the kissing, however, this had the added benefit of being done in front of the Avengers, Phil Coulson and his baby SHIELD agents.  
  
"Huh,” was Phil’s response.  Which was to cover the internal squeeing of:  
  
“OMG MY SHIP IS CANON!!!"  Skye had no shame about her ships whatsoever.  
  
"I meant actual sugar, but this is just as good,” Bucky said contentedly.  And then he stole another kiss for himself, because he was prepared to swear up and down that his coffee really was sweeter when accompanied by kisses from Steve.   
  
“I owe Rhodey fifty bucks,” Tony said in wonder.  
  
“Steve,  I’m disappointed in you,” Natasha deadpanned.  “Make him work for it!”  
  
Steve smiled.  Some things never changed.

_A Postscript:_

Phil Coulson was one of the original Steve/Bucky shippers.  He's not really happy that the fandom apparently decided to settle on "Stucky" for a ship name and he could never understand why _Starbucks_ or _Buck Rogers_ never caught on instead.  But he can deal with it.  

Skye originally shipped Steve and Tony - it must be said that the "Stony" fandom really exploded right after the Battle of New York.  However, Skye fell into Stucky hell after reading some really well-written WWII-era fan fiction written by a certain "Captain Squee" on AO3.  Captain Squee recently started in on a modern-era Stucky fic which is currently stuck in WIP hell.  

Little does she know that Captain Squee, of course, is the one and only Phil Coulson. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by [That Ass (Property of James Barnes)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3870733) written by greenbergsays. 
> 
> The lip gloss thing, by the way, happened because [tygermama](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/107280757686/steves-lip-gloss-is-really-a-lip-balm) is an Evil Giggling Valar Cloud and Enabler of Plot Bunnies and Headcanons.


	3. Bucky Bear

The first Bucky Bear really comes to Steve himself, courtesy of a little girl who liked being Tiny Princess Captain America for Halloween. 

She’d seen Steve on TV and thought that he was sad, sadder than he’d been in his “old pictures with no colors in them.”  He didn’t smile a lot anymore, she’d noted.  But he used to smile in all the old pictures and he looked really handsome when he smiled, better than a Disney Prince.  And she thought that maybe that was because he missed Bucky, who everyone knew was his bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Her own best friend was moving far away and she wasn’t going to see her anymore, except maybe on Skype and that wasn’t the same, really, as being there all the time.  So she was sad too and figured that was why Cap was sad.  So she was sending him her very own Bucky Bear, because although the Bear wasn’t as good as having the real Bucky, maybe it would make him less sad. 

Steve would send her a story, in pictures, of Bucky and the original Bucky Bear and the silly thing that the Commandos did to make Bucky smile when he got hurt during the war and was trying to get better.  He sent the story along with a toy shield and thanked Tiny Princess Captain America for saving him.

That particular Bucky Bear would have a place of honor on Steve’s bedside table.  Clint would christen the bear as Tiny Princess Bucky Bear, in honor of the Tiny Princess. 

(He’d try to call the _human_ Bucky Tiny Princess too, but that led to Things that Nat would _not_ save him from.  Nat essentially said that he brought it all on his own head.)

The original Corporal Bucky Bear, who’d been given to Tony as a child by Peggy herself, came to join Tiny Princess Bucky Bear, fully restored with his Corporal’s stripes on his blue peacoat. 

There was another Bucky Bear that Steve loved.  One of the new major prizes at one of the shooting galleries at Coney Island was a ginormous version of the Bear.  Just like the original Corporal Bear, this nearly life-sized version had the smart blue peacoat and its own rifle.  

Naturally,  _human_ Bucky knew his Mission was clear, the moment he saw Steve and the Giant Bucky Bear. 

Thus, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes’ baby, happily carried home his Bear. Human Bucky followed in his wake, wearing a silly grin and trying not to draw too much attention to Certain Incriminating Marks on his neck, courtesy of a grateful boyfriend.  

Mission accomplished.

When Bucky Barnes finally came home, he frankly didn’t expect that he’d get all this support not just from Steve (Steve would always have his back, that was a given), Steve’s friends, who were now Bucky’s as well, but from all these other people.  Bucky Bears were sent to them but there were a few Captain Ameribears as well, because there were kids good and determined that Captain America and Bucky Barnes shouldn’t be separated from each other ever again.

But all the other Bears… well, there were sick kids in hospitals all over New York, who would be surprised by a quiet visit from Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, with their new fuzzy friends.  Operation: Find Bucky Bear a Home was a mission happily undertaken by the Captain and the Winter Soldier. 

Bucky would _own_ this part of himself now but he would be a soldier who would _protect_ and _defend_ , not a mindless asset.  And he would only be obeying the orders of the one man he’d take orders from, his beloved Captain. 

Every kid they visited was willing to be drafted into this mission and the Bears were happy to be given their orders from Captain America. 

Later on, Steve would receive another letter from Tiny Princess Captain America, together with a photograph.  She was reunited with her best friend the Tiny Princess Winter Soldier at Comic Con and posed together in their costumes and their respective teddy bears.  

Eventually the little girls would meet their heroes in person. 

They’d also meet the Bears. 

_\- end -_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of [Bucky Bear]() headcanons on my Tumblr but I decided to combine two of my favorites. 
> 
> Again, my buddy tygermama on tumblr can be blamed for more than a few headcanons. :P 
> 
> This is an offshoot of the [The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boys](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1899756?view_full_work=true) universe, except that in this story, Bucky, alas, fell from the train and became the Winter Soldier, eventually reuniting with Steve.


	4. Stewart, Colbert and Rogers

Of course, the Battle of New York is the first time everyone actually sees _Captain America_ since the 1940’s. 

Media predictably goes apeshit.  Rumors are flying.  Some people think it’s just a new guy wearing the suit - and okay, it’s not as if it wasn’t tried before.  Everyone still remembers the eventual catastrophe that was William “Steve Rogers” Burnside in the 1950’s.  It had taken Director Carter and the early SHIELD everything they had to bring him and his false Bucky down.  And even in the end, there’s still a bit of mystery as to the mysterious sniper who had first killed the fake “Bucky” and then taken the fatal shot at Burnside that sent him into the waters below the Hoover Dam.  Burnside’s body was never recovered. 

But eventually, grainy pictures of Cap unmasked during the Battle of New York make it onto the Internet and that _face_ is unmistakably the original Steve Rogers.  There’s fancy face-matching programs that talking heads bring into the newsrooms showing that this isn’t somebody who had plastic surgery done.  It’s either Cap somehow has an identical grandson or _he is the real thing_ , somehow surviving all those years frozen in the ice.

So eventually, Captain America has to face the press and he has a very long talk with SHIELD’s PR people and eventually ends up consulting the lovely Pepper Potts, who, in Steve’s own words, is the one voice of sanity in this entire mess.  Tony has Grand Ideas of how Steve should come out to the press but seriously, baldly walking down Main Street with “Back in Black” blaring and with red, white and blue balloons and streamers is just not Steve’s thing, ever, okay?  Miss Pepper - Tony’s not serious, is he?

However, much to everyone’s amusement and Clint, by the way, was all “BWAHAHAHA, YOU GO, CAP” at this, Steve Rogers decides to formally announce his identity and lay all the rumors to rest in “the one news show in the entire country that actually makes sense and actually reports _accurate_ news!” 

Jon Stewart’s _The Daily Show._

And okay, since Steve’s also supposed to do a “fluffier” interview kinda thing, he agrees to appear on the one other show that was “truly _American_.”  That he manages to say this with a straight face, not cracking up until Clint and Tony thought he was actually fucking serious, was the first lesson the team learned that Steve Rogers was not completely the perfect “sweetheart” everyone thought he was. 

Yep, Steve Rogers was going to appear on _The Colbert Report_ too. 

Okay, no, really, Steve’s aware that _The Daily Show_ and its sister show _The Colbert Report_ are comedic satires but he likes Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. 

That particular _Daily_ _Show_ episode was one of the most epic in its history.  Yes, I’m really Steve Rogers.  Yes, the _original_ Steve Rogers - I fought with the Howling Commandos in World War II and yes, I did survive that plane crash in the Arctic.  Super Soldier Serum did the work.  I did get to punch Hitler 200 times but I never got to do that in Berlin.  Well, I don’t miss polio, the Internet is incredibly helpful and I am so glad we don’t have to boil everything before we eat it now.  

The Steve Rogers America meets in the _Daily Show_ comes off as funny, endearing, charming and more than surprisingly snarky and sassy.  Jon Stewart, after the initial fanboy reaction (can’t help himself), sasses and snarks back in typical fashion and he almost, _almost_ gets Steve to say the word “fuck” on national television _because of the Dodgers_.  They do, however, bond over New York pizza and Steve’s Brooklyn accent comes out in full force, which Jon matches.  

_The Colbert Report_ episode is known as “When Steve meets Stephen” and Rogers is outed as a fellow Tolkien geek, which nearly sends Colbert into an orgasm.  Colbert manages to secure a promise from Rogers on lessons in how to throw the Captain America shield properly, gets Cap’s signature on his shield and the crowning moment of Colbert’s career is an actual sketch of Colbert himself, drawn by Steve Rogers.

Colbert lords this over Jon every chance he gets.  “Rogers likes me better than you, Stewart!  I’m breaking up with you now and I’m running away with Captain America and we’re going to raise our red, white and blue babies together!”

Steve ends up guesting occasionally on both shows, although these are shorter appearances, usually in some gag or the other or in response to some Fox News idiocy and soon enough #CaptainSassmerica is trending.  It’s priceless. 

The next time Steve Rogers appears for a longer interview on  _The Daily Show_ is when he officially ended the long speculation - so hotly debated in scholarly circles and in fandom - about his relationship with Bucky Barnes.  

This happens some considerable time after the Triskelion and Ultron Incidents.  The identity of the infamous DC Shooter is revealed to be the Winter Soldier a.k.a James Buchanan Barnes.  Steve Rogers himself confirms that Barnes was essentially tortured, brainwashed, experimented on and deprived of all agency and choice in his time as HYDRA’s weapon and is pretty much the country’s longest held POW. 

He gets most of the country’s support - though there are, of course, always people calling out for blood and less interested in the actual truth as they are in vengeance.  #BuckyBarnesisNotaTraitor and #SaveBuckyBarnes become trending.  After a long recovery, Bucky does eventually join Sam Wilson as one of the newest Avengers. 

Of course, photos of Steve and Bucky being out and about in New York make it to the press and the internet and the fandom loses their collective minds.  The affection between the two is “obvious” and “absolutely adorable” according to some.  Homophobic trolls stoutly deny everything on the comms and blogs, some going for anonymous hate messages.  The others plead for sanity and point out that Rogers and Barnes don’t owe anyone anything - forcing someone to out themselves is a shitty thing to do, this is nobody’s business but their own and both men have already been through _enough_. 

But everyone knows that Rogers _hates_ bullies with a passion, has appeared to support LGBTQIA+ groups, especially art programs, education and shelters for disadvantaged LGBTQIA+ youth and Barnes, who normally doesn’t talk to the press at all, finally breaks his silence after an idiotic, insulting question by a clearly homophobic reporter.   “Steve and I used to live in one of the queerest neighborhoods in Brooklyn.  They were our neighbors and our friends.  What makes you think the two of us would have anything against ‘em?”

Bucky Barnes hated bullies too.

That quote, accompanied by a very Winter Soldier-y glare ends up turning into an internet meme. 

And after that, both men end up being very active in their support for LGBTQIA+ rights.  The rest of the Avengers have their backs. 

So Steve appears on _The Daily Show_ after a particularly blistering, offensive segment on Fox News that openly wondered as to whether he should be “stripped of his rank/title because clearly, Steve Rogers no longer represents America as it should be.” 

For once, Jon Stewart actually sets aside the comedy and goes for an actual serious interview, that shames a lot of real news shows for the astonishing amount of research put into it and the sheer professionalism.  He raises the fact that lately, Steve has been very visible in rallies supporting the Marriage Equality Act. 

Steve responds.  “You know, back in the day, this kind of thing wasn’t spoken about.  I know good, decent people who had to hide who and what they are, had to watch their backs every day of their lives and all because they loved another man - “

“ - or another woman,” Jon adds.

“Yes, exactly.  I know that there are people out there, right now, who still have to live in fear, who still face the kind of hate we went through in the 1940’s, who still wonder every day if there’s something _wrong_ with them, if they need to be _fixed._ "  Steve’s expression clouds.  "It ain’t right. _Everyone_ deserves a chance to live their lives and be happy.”

"Gay marriage is legal in New York,” Jon points out.  “And you said… _we.”_

"Yeah, I’m glad that Bucky and I could get married here in our city if we wanted to.  Everyone else all over the country deserves that same chance.”

After a stunned silence, Jon stammers out, “You mean you… and _Bucky Barnes?”_

Steve’s mouth quirks that familiar, slightly lopsided, movie-star smile.  “Yeah.  Took us a while to get here but we made it, eventually.” 

That moment ends up breaking Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube, to say nothing of _The Daily Show_ website itself. 

On _The Colbert Report_ , a “heartbroken” Stephen Colbert congratulates Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes on their upcoming nuptials.  Colbert starts sobbing noisily and ends up with several boxes of Kleenex and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. 

“I thought we were going to run off into the sunset together…. but!  But! I can’t stand in the way of your everlasting love with Barnes.  I’m…. so…. _happy_ for you.” 

Jon ends up “crossing over” and brings him more ice cream.  They end up cuddling on the couch together. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story happened after reading the GLORIOUSNESS that is [idrilka](http://tmblr.co/mOoFqvhZmOT0KCFOTGZLm6g)’s [Tin Soldiers](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087?view_full_work=true) and I badly wanted to see Steve Rogers on my two favorite American news shows.  Since we can’t actually have that, I did the next best thing.  :P 


	5. Barnes & Noble…. er Rogers at The Daily Show

For obvious reasons, the newly reclaimed (and still recovering) Sgt. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, did not speak to the press for a very long time. 

Steve Rogers was the one who did most of the talking, until the Idiotic Question that netted the infamous Winter Soldier glare and the accompanying quote that firmly established that Bucky Barnes hated bullies as much as his Captain did.  So of course, combined with movie-star good looks and the inadvertent air of mystery, everyone was curious about Barnes and wanted to see more.

The fans were _very_ protective of the sergeant.  Comms threatened all sorts of mayhem for anon hate - as there were still those who firmly believed that the Winter Soldier should be held accountable for the DC Incident - and pictures and stories that were a clear invasion of the man’s personal space.  _What part of fucking tortured and brainwashed and deprived of agency and choice did you fuckwits not understand_ was the general eloquent response of the fans.  

The “trial” of the Winter Soldier, together with film footage, documentation and other evidence found by Natasha Romanoff and the secret fledgling new SHIELD headed by its Director Phil Coulson, would show the public all the proof backing up Bucky Barnes’ story of torment, brainwashing and manipulation for _seventy years_.  Several members of the investigative committee that handled this matter were quite visibly sick and had to leave the room to recover for a few minutes.  

Faced with the evidence and a good deal of public opinion, James Buchanan Barnes was officially recognized as the country’s longest held POW and entitled to all the benefits that his rank and service merited him and more. 

In the meantime, children sent Bucky Bears and letters to the very bewildered Barnes, who certainly felt that he did not deserve this kind attention.  Steve Rogers would beg to differ - it became a source of affectionate wrangling between them.   Captain and sergeant would later bring the ensuing huge collection of teddy bears to children’s hospitals, prompting a resurgence of pictures posted to Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr, with the stories of meeting both men.  _Operation Find Bucky Bear A Home_ became an actual thing, with Rogers and Barnes doing a playful short video of them giving the Bears their standing orders to take care of the little ones. 

It was clear that both captain and sergeant had not forgotten their original roles in the chain of command.  Rogers was sweetly earnest  and Barnes was the long-suffering sergeant making sure his captain’s orders were executed to the letter.  It was hilarious. 

The YouTube video went viral. 

Bucky’s first actual television appearance would be on _Sesame Street_ , as he gave a piano lesson to his new friend Keiko Miyamoto, a little girl who had been the victim of domestic violence, now getting used to her prosthetic arm and currently living with her two doting aunts.  This segment also featured Rowlf the Dog while another segment in the same episode would have Steve Rogers bonding with Kermit the Frog.  The entire Muppet Family would descend on the ‘Street to meet the entire Avengers Family for this episode.  

It became an instant classic.

Despite the fact that he was still recovering and this process was one that would take years to accomplish, Barnes would insist on taking up arms as the Winter Soldier again and accompany his Captain on Avengers missions.  Yes, he’d been deprived of his agency and had been turned into a mindless killing machine.  It didn’t erase the fact that it had been his finger on the trigger anyway.  He reclaimed that part of himself as much as he’d reclaimed the WWII sergeant and the Brooklyn boy that he had been.  This Soldier would only be following the orders of one man now and that would be Steve Rogers. 

There was grainy footage during the Ultron Incident that showed Barnes coming out of his sniper’s nest, running to take shots against enemies creeping up on Captain America’s unguarded back.  Later on, as an official Avenger, Barnes would be seen fighting side by side with his Captain and there were more than a few comments that it was a beautiful sight.  One wit would say “it’s almost like foreplay” which the slash fandom thoroughly enjoyed and would reblog and quote all over Tumblr. 

But the most arresting image of Sgt. Bucky Barnes as a hero in the present day was during the Burnside Incident.  It was a photo of him supporting a wounded Steve Rogers, carrying both his Captain and his Captain’s shield.  Mere minutes before that picture was taken, both men were herding civilians out of the line of fire and taking their respective stands to cover the fleeing people. 

Later on, the fact that both men were very visible in their support of LGBTQIA+ rights would again awaken all the old rumors as to the real nature of their relationship.  And of course, all the speculation would finally end when Steve Rogers confirmed this on _The Daily Show_ to an absolutely stunned Jon Stewart and “breaking the heart” of Stephen Colbert. 

Naturally, the idea of a _joint interview_ was raised. 

Eventually, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes _would_ appear for a very special episode. 

Barnes’ very rare and infrequent press appearances would paint a picture of a rather quiet and reserved man, though it was quite clear that he was very kind to fans and adored children.  It was a far cry from the outgoing Bucky Barnes that he had been back during the 1940’s but given his experiences, this was quite understandable. 

That particular _Daily Show_ episode would show a different man.  He was funny, charming and flirted with Steve outrageously, who flirted right back with an even more heartstopping version of that movie-star smile.  They bickered, snarked and sassed with all the easy familiarity of an old married couple, drawing Jon Stewart right into the banter.  Jon managed to get Bucky to share a few old war stories and said, “It’s late night - the kids are all asleep.  It’s okay if they’re a bit…. risque.”

Bucky widened his eyes.  “Risque, he says.  Your mama might wash your brains out with soap, if you keep goin’ like this, 'specially if I end up telling that one time in Paris….”

“No, Bucky, we are _not_ talking about Paris,” Steve interrupts with mock sternness.

“Baby, we’ll _always_ have Paris,” Bucky tells him, putting a hand over his heart.  

“You see what I have to put up with?” Steve complains.  

At some point, Jon just gave all control of the interview up to the Super Soldier Boyfriends (#SuperSoldierBoyfriends would end up trending all over Twitter and Tumblr, to everyone’s eternal glee), put his chin on his hands and stared at them with visible hearts in his eyes. 

And then, Stephen Colbert bursts in to interrupt the interview.  He strides right up to Bucky Barnes, who stands up to meet him.  Although Colbert doesn’t actually get into Barnes’ personal space - he does make a show of looking over the sergeant from head to toe. 

“Barnes.”

“Colbert,” Bucky says coolly.  “You got a problem with me, pal?”

“Actually, I just have one question.  The Nation deserves to know.”

“Stephen, we talked about this - ” Jon tries to intervene. 

“Shut up, Stewart!  This is a burning question in the name of Truthiness!”

“I’ve got Ben and Jerry’s with your name on it!” Jon begs. 

“Truthiness first!”

“Ask your question,” Bucky tells him.

With all earnestness, Stephen goes for the kill.  “So, how does it really feel now that you’re officially Buck Rogers in the 21st Century?”

And that was how Stephen Colbert of _The Colbert Report_ helped Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers announce that they were, in fact, officially married in the state of New York as of a month ago. 

Technically speaking, they were Steve and James Barnes-Rogers but truthiness will out. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame [aderynrrowntree](http://tmblr.co/msnQl6asFil770xJj5VLkSQ) for siccing the bunny that made me pick up the story from [HERE](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/92947314261/stewart-colbert-and-rogers-a-headcanon)
> 
> Um, yeah, the “Burnside Incident” is based on the speculations for the plot of Captain America 3.  While I know the writers have consequently denied that they’d be using this storyline, it’s a very interesting one - at least for fan fic purposes.  


	6. Situation Normal Rogers Fucking Barnes

SNRFB becomes something of a legend among the rank and file.

Everyone knows that it started with the Howling Commandos.  The guys in the 101st heard about how Colonel Philips actually got a steady supply of “medicine” from Captain Nixon, who was known to have a near-magical store of such things.  And the reason given was SNRFB, which caused some considerable head-scratching.  Because everyone knew Herr FUBAR.  And his brothers SNAFU, TARFU, JANFU and all the others.  

SNRFB.... that was kind of different. 

Colonel Phillips tended to renew his “medical supplies” every time he’d get the answer “SNRFB” from Dugan or any of the other Howling Commandos. 

A lot of the fine fellas in the 101st, especially the guys from Easy Company, were pretty bright.  The legendary Captain America _a.k.a._ Steve Rogers, Sergeant Bucky Barnes, Agent Carter and the Commandos.... well, it wasn't hard to put it all together and figure out what it meant.  Also, the 101st could never forget how they all held together during the Battle of the Bulge.  It would have gotten a _lot_ uglier, especially with HYDRA adding to the mess, if the Howling Commandos had not been present.  

Captain Rogers and his squad got the job done as far as kicking Nazi and HYDRA ass, so the occasional yelling of “SNRFB IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE STATUS REPORT SOLDIER!” coming from Philips’ tent could be forgiven.

So from the Howling Commandos, it spread to the 101st and the 107th.  It took a while for everyone else to “get it.”  At that point, anyone who actually had beef about this would be coldly told to _shut up and just fight the goddamn war_ , usually by a great many men who could tell actual, “yes, I was there and I would have been fucking hamburger on the beach at D-day if it weren’t for Cap and/or Sergeant Barnes, so shut the fuck up” stories.  To say nothing of commentary that included, "Fuck off, you weren't there at Bastogne."  Or Azzano. 

SNRFB was the general consensus among the rank and file when Cap flew that plane into the Arctic, mere weeks after Sergeant Barnes fell from that train.

Soon enough, SNRFB became a code of sorts among the men.  A way for buddies to say how they felt, whether or not the affection was simply deep friendship or something else.  SNRFB was an unqualified _I love you_.  Ditch the “no homo” disclaimers. 

When you’re in the trenches, in the sands, in the goddamn ocean or in the skies, fighting alongside your best pal, the guy you trust to watch your back in or out of the battle zone, somehow, worrying about “other implications” was just more bullshit.  SNRFB, man.  It was understood. 

SNRFB was the last thing Sam Wilson heard from Riley before he fell.

Rhodey remembers saying SNRFB to another close friend during his own time in the battlefield.  He’s said it to Tony just once, when Tony was on one of the worst benders of his life, shortly after losing his parents.  While Tony doesn’t completely understand the meaning of the entire acronym, he got the sense behind the words all the same. 

SNRFB was something Clint used to say to Phil Coulson, though he never got to say it before Loki and the Chitauri happened. 

SNRFB was something Natasha ended up saying to Steve, and they were _both_ surprised that it came out. 

Over several bottles of vodka later, Steve told Natasha the whole story and she ended up holding him close as he wept for the love he’d lost.

When Bucky finally came home, when all of them watched as he and Steve held each other close, whispered broken snatches of words that all spoke of grief and love and relief and _home_ , Tony finally got the meaning of SNRFB. 

“Oh hell.  SNRFB.”  And he facepalmed.

Rhodey patted him on the back, “There, there, buddy.  It takes a while to sink in.”

“SNRFB?” Wanda asked.

Clint patted her and her brother on the shoulder.  “We’ll explain later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/121718467431/i-am-dense-i-am-very-dense-i-know-what-snafu)
> 
> Yes, this draws inspiration from tolieawake's [I love you like rlb](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1651511)


	7. sunshine

The first thing that Bucky noticed, when he was in a better state of mind to pay attention to these things, was that Steve rarely drew anymore.

He’d gotten used to seeing Steve with his sketchpad and during the war, when he finally filled up his last sketchpad’s pages, any bit of paper they could scrounge up.  Bucky would trade cigarettes, chocolate, socks, _anything_ so Steve could get paper, put things down, lose the worried frown or that terrible smile he’d put on, trying to make it that he was all right.

Steve wasn’t.  But gratifyingly, it didn’t seem to take much effort from Bucky to coax that sunshine smile out again and maybe Bucky was fucked up in the head himself, dreaming he was back in that base in Azzano, but at least Steve had that sunshine smile and Bucky could _believe_ that they’d get out of there.  Get out of the war alive.  Go home. 

So okay, a lot of truly epic clusterfuckery - as Clint put it - had happened in between - which was a pretty much a succint way of describing what had happened to both of them in the past seventy years.

But Bucky was coping or as close as to okay as he was going to get and Steve… _wasn’t._

Steve not drawing was just another sign of how Steve… _wasn’t._

The first time Bucky saw Steve give him that sunshine smile that took him out at the knees was when Bucky had finally said, “Fuck it all, please don’t hate me,” grabbed that idiot beautiful face and kissed him.

On the cheek, you goddamn pervs.  Just at the corner of his mouth, enough to get Bucky started on confessing: _I’ve loved you since I was thirteen years old and figured it out when you almost died of pneumonia…. again and I told you I was gonna come drag you outta Heaven if you died on me.  I love you still.  I love you now.  I love you always._

Sunshine.  All the joy in the world.  And Steve, the little shit, said, “My lips are over here, Bucko.”

Fine.  He adjusted his aim.  Whatever made his Captain happy. 

The next step was getting Steve to draw again. 

So he gets Steve a new sketchbook - a really, _really_ nice one - the kind he’d always wanted to get for him back then and could never afford.  There was a very nice redheaded lady who had sat him down and explained the state of his finances, after getting his name cleared and his POW status officially recognized.  Bucky was stunned, to put it mildly, but said Redheaded Lady - her nickname was _Pesky_ , which made him laugh - had plenty of good advice on what to do with the money.   But bottom line, it meant he could buy an entire store’s worth of sketchbooks and art materials for Steve if he wanted.

So he gives them to Steve one morning, along with a box of pencils and Steve is grateful, of course, and then there’s the inevitable, “Aw, Buck, you didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I needed to and hey, I expect to see drawings of me in that book of yours again.  But if you need me naked, we might have to negotiate a bit,” And here, he waggles his eyebrows a little, smirks mischievously, just enough to make Steve laugh.

Steve is _very_ good at negotiating. 

The first time Bucky knows that Steve is okay is when he sees the artwork _on the fucking wall_.  A cartoon-y Bucky, in the style of what the kids these days call “chibi” with the caption _I don’t want to go running.  I’m lazy!_

On the fucking wall.  When he had a perfectly good sketchbook.  That Bucky gave him.

That little shit. 

Bucky ends up tackling his sweaty, mischievous boyfriend when he comes home but since the tackling involves kissing the breath out of him and dragging his ass to the shower, he figures that’s all right. 

Steve _was_ …. and that was all that mattered. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at the [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/98786456501/sunshine) around the first time I encountered the [gorgeous Stucky artwork by petite-madame.](http://im-the-punk-who.tumblr.com/post/98482972119/the-life-of-bucky-barnes-on-instagram)
> 
> Also, I’m hoping that [peskyredhead](http://tmblr.co/mXqsadDSCUJ8n_28I26HDRA) doesn’t mind that I made her the financial consultant to our boys! :P  


	8. goodbye, my darling

It’s not until it’s more than seventy years that Peggy gets to repeat those words again.  

Just once more, mercifully, her mind is clear.  She remembers her life, so well lived and so full of love.  With every success and every failure.   Every moment bright and clear as daylight. 

And there’s Steve, finally home, at the very end of it all and Peggy _remembers_.  She _remembers.  
_

She remembers now that he finally came home and that they at least had some precious days left, in which she could tell him all that she wished she could say.  She’d whispered to him about Angie, because then she could finally tell him that she completely understood about him and Bucky Barnes and Steve presses kisses to her hand and tells her, “But I loved you too.  I loved you too, Peggy.” 

“I know, darling, I know.” 

She remembers now about SHIELD and the true story of what really happened to Barnes and she wishes, fiercely, that she could still stay, that she still had the strength to help Steve bring this last soldier home.  

But she can’t anymore. 

And she has to trust that there are others who will take their place at Steve’s side, who will help him move forward now, just as she had those precious, beloved people in her own life.  

_“Goodbye, my darling.”_  She tells him once more.  

One last time. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/119074417246/goodbye-my-darling-its-not-until-its-more-than)


	9. corporal bucky bear

So the first time Bucky Bear commanded the unit was when Captain Rogers needed to _discuss_ certain operational matters with Sergeant Barnes in _private_ and thus, Corporal Bucky Bear was left in command of the Howlies.  

At least, that was what Dum Dum said when Colonel Philips was searching for the US Army’s only super soldier and found the Howlies engaged in a game of poker with the bear.  

The Bear was winning.  

Corporal Bear saluted the Colonel smartly and sent Jim Morita off to give “Mom and Dad” a heads up. 

( _God damn it, Dugan, I don’t care if you sewed the right stripes on his uniform, a teddy bear cannot be in charge of a unit in this man’s army!)_

Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes promptly arrived in short order and it is to their mutual credit that their uniforms would stand up to inspection.  For the sake of his sanity, Colonel Phillips chose not to inquire too closely at the slight redness in the general area of Captain Rogers’ neck, which was nearly covered by his uniform collar.  Almost.  

He also tried not to think too hard about the look of unholy _contentment_ on Sergeant Barnes’ face.  

The second time Corporal Bucky Bear commanded the unit was when Captain Rogers went missing and Sergeant Barnes, naturally, ordered the Howlies to get back to HQ with the wounded of Fox Company (from the 101st Airborne).  Effectively, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes were then left behind in enemy lines. 

So of course, once the Howlies got the wounded back to safety, they ran off to rescue their captain and their sergeant.  

Bucky Bear rode in Gabe Jones’ pack and the Howlies swore up and down that they were following the _bear’s_ orders to rescue their captain and sergeant. 

Bucky was really grateful for the assistance but:  “Monty, you’re a _lieutenant_ — “

_“Leftenant,_ sergeant.” 

"Whatever.  You _outrank_ the bear.” 

James Montgomery Falsworth sniffs elegantly.  “I was only following our established chain of command - in the absence of Captain Rogers and yourself, the next in line is our Corporal Bear.” 

Captain Rogers promptly tried to disguise his laughter by coughing.  Several times.  He was still pretty much in deep trouble with his beloved War Bride and so tried not to draw too much attention.  

And despite Colonel Philips having kittens at the Howling Commandos’ daring rescue, the upshot was that the US Army’s super soldier and one of its best snipers made it back home and nobody was going to argue about it.  Even if they all claimed they were led by a fuzzy adorable teddy bear. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because somebody asked for the [first time Corporal Bucky Bear commanded the unit.](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/110945911326/ok-i-was-reading-the-boogie-woogie-bugle-boys)


	10. once upon a dream (a.k.a. bertholdt FUBAR)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rule 54 of Colonel Philips' List is finally explained or, as Peggy puts it, the time that Sgt. Barnes made a complete and absolute tit of himself

There’s a story that the Commandos (including Peggy) will only share when they’re very, very drunk and also in that specific state of drunkenness that makes them all both philosophical and very, _very_ pissed off.

Every Legacy knows how it starts.

_It was the one time that Sarge was a complete and total fucking idiot._

_(Or if you’re Peggy:  “That time that Barnes made an absolute tit of himself.”)  
_

So at this point in time, Peggy and the Commandos knew the significance of the following:

a. [December 7, 1938](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/105396914571/vows-or-the-wedding-of-bitty-steeb-and-bucko)

b. the fact that Steve Rogers had a wedding ring threaded through his dog tags

c. the fact that said wedding ring belonged to Bucky’s Ma

d. the fact that Bucky had one of Steve’s dog tags

These are Important Things, which they usually summed up eloquently as SNRFB and according to Dernier, who constantly deplored “the lack of romance in all your souls, _en avoir ras le bol” -_ it was all part of true love and that their Captain and Sergeant made them all believe in it again.  Or something to do with Rogers and Barnes being adorable cabbages.  Or both.

So it was _completely_ infuriating for all of them (Peggy, especially) that Bucky decided to abruptly break things off with Steve.  According to him, he had several perfectly good reasons to do so.

a.  Steve did _not_ deserve to be sent home on a Blue Ticket.

(Not that Colonel Philips would even _dream_ of issuing anyone in his army said ticket as it was in his considered personal opinion that it was none of his damn business what a soldier’s private life was, unless it directly involved hampering his ability to shoot Adolf Hitler in the nuts.)

b.  The dream of a house somewhere where the air was fresh and sweet, with a picket fence, a dog, a cat and half a dozen kids was _never_ going to be a possibility for both of them.

c. Steve deserved better than a fucked up soldier with a head full of nightmares and blood.

d.  Peggy.

Yeah, that last one utterly pissed Peggy off.  Yes, she adored Steve.  Yes, she was aware that Steve adored her right back.  However, she was not the kind of person who would destroy a relationship.  And it would never even occur to Steve to be unfaithful - loving Bucky was pretty much as instinctive as breathing in air.  He and Peggy were perfectly content to be the best of friends and it was in that spirit (and the fact that she wanted to protect them both), that she encouraged Steve to use her picture in his compass, to throw those of a less understanding nature off the scent.

Steve retorted that there was _nothing_ deceptive in having her picture there - she had given him his direction at a time he had felt the most lost, and it had helped him find Bucky again.  Typical Steve, of course.

Peggy would have marched right up to Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and given him a piece of her mind and perhaps a sock on the jaw, if it would help knock sense into him.  Dugan offered to hold him down. 

Monty and Jones managed to convince cooler heads to prevail and they all opted to give the two idiots some time - although none of them wanted to wait too long, since they were in the middle of World War II and everything.

Morita was in charge of babysitting a very mopey Cap.  He was very good at it except that his main problem was that he was _not Bucky Barnes._

Which probably explained how Steve Rogers got hit with the HYDRA experimental weapon SPINDLE. And promptly fell into a deep sleep that he could not be woken from. 

The official report states that Captain Rogers and the Howling Commandos discovered a HYDRA base in the Pyrenees.  It happened to be an old Cathar castle, wherein HYDRA was developing new weapons, using a slave labor force of Romani people.  Captain Rogers rescued their “queen,” who assisted them in destroying the base and capturing most of the experimental weaponry. 

Unfortunately, he was hit by one of the weapons as a last, defiant act by one of the surviving HYDRA scientists, prior to his own suicide by cyanide capsule.

Dugan, in telling this story to his grandchildren, phrased it better.

_They were goddamn fairies.  
_

_The Colonel couldn’t say we were rescuing fairies from HYDRA so he put in somethin’ different, plus we just went through that whole thing about Sarge and Snow White and squirrels talking to him.  
_

_HYDRA had this thing about trying to harness Old Magic and using it for their “science” and it was an awful sight, to see that Faerie Queen bound and her wings torn away from her.  
_

_Cap wasn’t gonna stand for that.  
_

_First thing he did was bring her wings back.  
_

_The Faerie Queen said something about Cap.  “I am glad to see that Her light has not yet faded from this world.  It burns so bright in him.  For Her sake and for his courage and kindness, I will help you save him.”_

_And the Queen said that the only way to do it was True Love.  
_

Of course, waking Steve Rogers from his deathlike state was going to take a little more than a kiss. 

And Bucky had stepped aside because he’d thought that if there was anyone who truly loved Steve Rogers, for who and what he was, it would be her. 

Peggy listened to all this nonsense with her lips thinned and fire in her eyes.  But she bent and whispered something into Steve’s ear, pressed a kiss on his brow and touched his hand. 

Healthy color leached back into his skin and it seemed that he took a deep breath.

But he did not wake.

And then, Peggy went striding back to Bucky and finally delivered the punch she’d been holding back.

“Sergeant Barnes, I have managed to call him back to us, because I also love him.  But if he is going to wake for anyone, it will be for you.  And don’t you dare tell me that your love for him is any less true than mine.”

Peggy was a great believer in plain speaking.  And truth. 

None of them knew what it was exactly that Bucky had whispered to Steve in his enchanted sleep but anyone with half a brain could hazard a guess that there was a heartfelt apology in there and love. 

But then, Bucky spoke up, loud enough for all of them to hear and this was what he said:

_I promised you ‘till the end of the line, didn’t I, punk?  I’m sorry I forgot.  I won’t ever do it again.  
_

And when he kissed him, it was a chaste press of lips on lips. 

Steve’s eyes fluttered open. 

“Come back here,” was the first thing he murmured.  “If you call that a kiss, you oughta be ashamed of yourself, James Buchanan Barnes.”

But he was awake at last. 

Of course, Colonel Philips had to add Rule 54 to his ever expanding List, but nobody minded that anyway:

_Captain Rogers is NOT Sleeping Beauty.  Sgt. Snow White - GAH, Sergeant BARNES employed no unusual means other than basic first aid in trying to wake him up.  We will not discuss the Castle Strahd Incident or the woman claiming to be Captain Rogers’ actual fairy godmother.  The lady was a member of the civilian resistance and aided us in our rescue of Captain Rogers.  I REFUSE TO HAVE GODDAMN FAIRY TALES IN MY REPORTS!  
_

Seventy odd years later, a certain Soldier finally turned up at his Captain’s doorstep, with his mind finally his own and with the barest hope in his heart.  He didn’t even have time to say his prepared speech before Steve grabbed him for the sort of embrace that a man can only give when he’s finally come home at last.

So Bucky ended up whispering, _‘Till the end of the line.  I’m keeping my promise…_ into Steve’s lips as he was kissed over and over again. 

Currently, they are still working out their “happily ever after” what with a home and their unconventional family and perhaps a fluffy little sunshine floof of a kitten that was a god’s wedding present but things look very promising.

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** Finally got the Rule 54 Sleeping Beauty story written out! :P


	11. he's still a punk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (An Introduction written by James Buchanan Barnes to the book “On va voir - the autobiography of Captain Steve Rogers, written with Kate Morita-Dugan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95952332941/hes-still-a-punk-by-bucky-barnes-an)

I’m going to clear up a few misconceptions.

I mean, this is pretty much what this book is going to be all about, Steve setting the story straight on a _lot_ of things folks got wrong about him, me, Peggy and the other Howlies.  Note that I’m considering Pegs to be a Howlie and don’t get me wrong, this ain’t no kind of sexist bullshit thing that we’re saying she was an honorary Howlie yadda yadda.

Peggy Carter _is_ a Howling Commando.  It was an honor and a privilege to serve with her and to fight by her side. 

There’ll be more on Pegs in this book.  She gets more than a couple of chapters all on her own, which she richly deserves.  Steve will tell you all about it, including the fondue story and the time she actually _shot_ at him.  Punk’s just lucky she didn’t aim for his nuts.  All this time I spent teaching him how to talk to dames -  I mean, respectfully, _women_ \- and it still didn’t take.  God help him now.  A fella can only do so much, you know?

But what can you do with a punk like Steven Grant Rogers?

Well first off, let’s start with that word - _punk._ Seriously, back in our day, it really just meant - and let me pull out my dictionary here, because, yeah, that was the second book the two of us read to pieces - _"a young boy, an inexperienced person.”_   Also, it’s an Irish endearment.  I learned it from his Ma.  He’s been my punk ever since I happened on him scrapping against bullies twice his size and yowling and spitting like the tiniest, cutest, fiercest kitten I’ve ever seen.

He’s going to get me for that kitten joke.  I’ll look forward to it.

Yeah, I know there’s another meaning to that word and it’s hard to escape it, considering where we used to live.  These days, you lawn-hogging kids would say “twink."  That fits as well, especially back before he grew a foot taller and developed a body Hercules would kill for, thanks to Erskine’s serum.    
  
For the record, I would like to state that bitty or big, Steven Grant Rogers has always been ridiculously beautiful and a threat to a man’s sanity.  Specifically mine.  You’d think I’d be used to this by now but apparently, I’m just FUBAR at this point. 

Finally, we know that "punk” refers to a rebellious subculture and a genre of music that goes with said rebellious, anarchist subculture and guess what?  That’s Steve Rogers all over too. 

Steve didn’t end up in the war for glory or the chance to kill Nazis or heaven help us, punching Hitler 200 times.  He wanted to go to war to take down the bullies. 

Steve hates bullies.  That’s a thing with Steve.  His Ma was picked on for choosing to stand on her own two feet and work her ass off for herself and her boy, instead of being a helpless widow and marrying some new man to provide for her.   He was picked on for being small, scrawny and perpetually sick and for his smart mouth. 

The Steve Rogers I know used to take on bullies in the neighborhood - half because I firmly believe he’s descended from the Morrigan, the Irish Goddess of War and thus, he’s crazy and half because it’s the right god damn thing to do.  When the rest of us will look away, call it none of our business and move on with our lives, Steve’s the one who’ll step in, do the right thing, even if it ends with his face being smashed in.

(Steve will tell you later that I’ve got no cause to pick on him for the Irish thing, being as I’m ethnically Romanian and therefore I’m a walking free for all for every _Dracula_ joke you could ever want to make.  Well, this is _my_ introduction to _his_ book.  He’ll have his chance later.)

Also, he ended up in the war because he, like every soldier we know, even before he put on the uniform, understood that essential thing.  When you go to war, you’re not really thinking about your country or your flag or patriotic speeches.  When you go to war, you fight for your buddy, the soldier next to you who’s also bleeding, bruised and bloody. 

In Steve’s case, that soldier would be me. 

Steve was the guy who risked court-martial by going AWOL, talking Pegs and Stark Senior into taking him over enemy lines to rescue _me_ , even though all common sense dictated that I was probably dead at that point and it was against orders.  Steve was the guy who got me and most of the 107th out of that HYDRA base, even if he had to leap over a fucking wall of flame to do it.   He was getting us out of there, come hell or high water, even if he had to punch out Death Herself 200 times to get the point across. 

Then again, maybe he wouldn’t need to.  I have the strangest feeling She’d be charmed by my punk and probably still is, considering how close he’s come to Her over the years.

Steve brought us home.

Steve brought _me_ home. 

That last statement is especially true, considering what would happen to me later.  I won’t mind admitting that even _I_ would have told Steve I was a lost cause and it would be better to just put me down, out of my misery like a rabid dog.

Steve wasn’t having any of that.  He was bringing me home, come hell or high water.  And so he did.  And to this day, he’s still saving me.  I’ll tell him he’s developing some pretty bad habits and he’ll laugh and just kiss me or say something ridiculously sappy or do all of these things together.  

This is what you’re going to learn about Steve in this book, which was something all of us had to convince him to write, if only because even I got tired of arguing with people in Wikipedia and everywhere else on the Internet over all the shit they got wrong about us.  And also because Katie, Dum-Dum and Jim’s granddaughter, was a historian and a writer and volunteered to help.

(I’m still cackling over the idea that Dum Dum and Jim are now connected through the marriage of their children.  My God, I wish Steve and I could’ve attended _that_ wedding.  Dums and Jim were forever at each other’s throats - those two were always like cats and dogs.) 

Steve’s not a saint.  He’s not perfect.  He’s not flawless.   He’ll do his best to downplay his role in everything - so please watch out for that in this book, because Steve has never been the one to toot his own horn. We’ve got Katie to fix that, to say nothing about the other Avengers putting in their own opinions but Steve is sneaky.   Again, _punk_ \- what can I tell you?

He’ll try to tell you that he’s only trying to do the right thing and that’s pretty much the least anyone can do.  He’ll try to convince you that he’s nobody special, really, that he’s just a kid from Brooklyn who got handed a hell of a chance and just made the best of things. 

He is, of course, dead wrong. 

He is pretty damn special, even before Erskine handed him his magic super soldier serum potion in a bottle.  He’s not a saint, but he’s the Captain any of us will follow into war, even “under the shadow of the black wings” - quoting a certain favorite author of ours, who liked to write about Hobbits.  And finally:

Steven Grant Rogers is a fecking Irish shitekicker punk who happens to be the best and the bravest man I’ve ever known.  He _is_ a hero.  That’s God’s honest truth. 

Turn the page.  Watch out for that little punk trying to pull one over you.  I’ll make sure he doesn’t get away with it, because this isn’t the only time I’ll probably be talking in this book, thanks to Katie.  And I have help from the other Avengers as well.  And hopefully, we can outfox our Captain, for once. 

\- _James Buchanan Barnes_


	12. he's still a jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (A Rebuttal by Steven Grant Rogers. Included in the book On va voir because the truth is, Steve and Bucky are a pair of Actual Five Year Olds so Mr. Stark can now stop making all the Nonagenarian Jokes, please and thank you - Kate Morita-Dugan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/96438942071/hes-still-a-jerk-a-rebuttal-by-steve-rogers)

This is all Bucky’s fault.

Now I’m going to freely admit that at least eighty percent of the time, it’s really _my_ fault.  I run my mouth off at times, but usually it’s for a good cause, because come on, would it actually kill anyone to behave like a decent human being? Seriously? So, I tell a person off for being an ass and this usually ends up with me eating cement but hell if I don’t make them work for it.

So, yeah, usually my fault. 

But this one is all on Bucky.

One of the things that Bucky does for entertainment is to go through the Internet or a library or a bookstore and argue, quite loudly, with every thing that’s ever been written about us.  He used to do this even with the dime store pulp magazines, comics and books we’d read way back in the Dark Ages where fan fiction as you know it today did not exist and there was no such thing as AO3. 

(Terrible times, I know.  Yes, I have an AO3 account.  Just don’t ask if I’ve ever written anything.  That’s classified.) 

A library card was a godsend when it came to living with Bucky Barnes.   We’d never be let back into a library again, the way he carried on.

_Dump his loser ass, I’m telling you, sweetheart! He’s no good!_

_You fucking idiot - of course it was the god damn stepfather.  Who else has the motive?_

_Vampires.  Do not.  Fucking. Sparkle._

_Oh come on, why in the name of Jesus, Mary and all the saints would you want to actually fuck in a fucking cemetery full of vampires?_

So that’s when Bucky’s reading _fiction_.  It gets worse when he finally gets to the non-fiction section, especially when it was stuff about me and the rest of the Howling Commandos, to say nothing of how Peggy ends up just being my girl, with not one word of how she actually built SHIELD. 

I will tell you right now, please don’t ask him about the young teenage Bucky in the comics.  Not unless you really enjoy knuckle sandwiches. 

I should’ve known I was in Serious Trouble when Bucky actually threw the latest book he was reading about us - I won’t name it here to protect the dignity of everyone involved - across the room.

“Jesus, Buck, what’d that book ever do to you?”

“That book is written by a lying liar who lies and if I ever meet Mr. E —- … well, he and I are going to have a Talk.”

At some point in my life, I’ve actually picked up on the meaning of “not the hill I want to die on” and believe it or not, this was one hill I just wanted to avoid.  There’s a story about Bucky and poor Colonel Phillips and _Talking_ that I’ll probably end up telling in this book - it’s just too good not to share. 

“People will write what they want to write about ‘Captain America’,” I tell him.  “He’s more than just me putting on the costume now.  People like a good story.”

“If they really want a _good_ story, they oughta know the _truth_. Not this fucking comic book hero they’ve made you into,” Bucky growls.  “You’re _more_ than this, Steve. Better.  I just hate it that they don’t know that.  For Chrissakes, they don’t even have anything about your Ma other than, 'oh, she was a saint, she was a nurse, she got sick and she died.’”

And at that point, I realized he was right.

Google my Ma or my father and you’ll just get the bare bones of things.  They were born and they died.  My Ma was a nurse who bought it after working in a TB ward for so long.  My father died in the Great War. 

Now I don’t remember my father much and all I’ve got are Ma’s stories about him.  But Ma’s different.  She was the one who got me cracking the history books open, knew military tactics because it interested her, told folks off for calling women “the weaker sex” and taught me how to play poker like nobody’s business.  I know the color of her hair, the way she laughed - great hiccupy giggles that made me laugh too, the way she’d tweak my nose and mess up Bucky’s hair.  She was the only one, other than _his_ Ma, allowed to mess up that hair. 

I’m the only one, now, who really knows Sarah Rogers’ story.  There’s a great deal more there other than just “she died of TB.”

I know Bucky’s stories too - a lot of the stuff that he’s still struggling to remember, the memories and the life that HYDRA stole from him.  You need to watch out for this guy because he’ll tell you that _I’m_ the hero and he’s just the mook who came along for the ride, knew how to hold on to a good thing when he saw it.  He’s a fecking idiot who to this day, can’t believe it when I tell him he’s my best guy,  _my_ hero and always will be. 

I threatened to write him a suitably sappy dedication for this book - all filled with ridiculous things like being the “moon of my life” and such - all apologies to George R.R. Martin.  I have to get back at him for the kitten thing after all. 

I like to think that I’ve made a dedication page that won’t get me sued for plagiarism but will also please my ridiculous sweetheart who has the “drowned kitten” look down better than me.  You can turn the page after this - or take a look back - the dedication is there, clear as day. 

I know Peggy’s story - or at least the part of her life that I had shared.  She was a Howling Commando, same as the rest of us.  She was the best and bravest woman I had known and yes, I did love her, but the fact that I loved her shouldn’t have been used to define everything that she was.  Hers was the last voice I heard before the ice, helped me with the fear and to face that end without regret.  She’d fought the war long before I ever came along.  Peggy Carter is a hero, same as the rest of the people I served with.  Better heroes than I could ever hope to be.

I know the Howling Commandos’ stories - Monty, Jim, Dernier, Gabe and Dum Dum.  We had all gone on those missions together, gotten into one fine mess after the other and come out alive, worked with other squads and companies, bled on the sands of Utah Beach on D-day.  I wouldn’t be here if Jim hadn’t pulled me out of the way after an explosion that got me before I could completely tuck tail under the shield.

That’s a story that never did make it into any of the history books.  I’d had a long argument with the brass that Jim Morita deserved a higher award than what was ultimately given to him, except that in the eyes of higher command, they still saw him as a “Jap.”

So Bucky’s right.  I _do_ know those stories.  I _do_ know the truth about things.  I was there after all.  I guess I’m the only one who can tell them now.  

At the end of the day, I’m just a kid from Brooklyn who got handed one hell of a chance.  I made the best of it.  I’m not a hero.

The real heroes, as a fellow soldier once put it, are the ones who never got to come home. 

So Bucky’s right.  I need to tell _their_ stories, which are part of my own.  Bucky’s still a jerk though. 

\- _Steven Grant Rogers_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out again to [idrilka](http://tmblr.co/mOoFqvhZmOT0KCFOTGZLm6g) because the book Bucky was arguing with, the one with the author he’d like to “talk” to, is one of those academic authors from the fic _Tin Soldiers_ , the ones who were very much in denial about the Steve and Bucky relationship.  *** gigglefits ***


	13. the t-shirt conspiracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we explain why Steve seems to buy shirts that are a tad too small... courtesy of Your Friendly Neighborhood Retailer (a.k.a. beaniebaneenie from Tumblr) :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/101819332056/the-t-shirt-conspiracy-continues)

So the life of a salesperson can be generally thankless and not a day goes by that you don’t deal with an asshole customer - and believe me, there’s a million ways people can be assholes in a store setting and they surprise me every. flipping. day. 

And then, sometimes, Sunshine and Glory walks right into your store.

I am not sorry.  Seriously, there is no other way to describe the man.  Sunshine.  Gloriousness.  Six Foot Odd of muscles, blue eyes, blonde hair in Dire Need of a better haircut and the most adorable smile in freaking existence. 

Also, because apparently, God, in Her Infinite Wisdom, decided to bless me today, he’s an absolute _sweetheart._

Like:  “Um.  Hi, Miss.  I was wondering if you’ve got any more shirts like this one in my size.  Guess I could use like maybe five or six more.  Hope I’m not being a bother.”

And I’m like, “Oh, honey, _no._ "  Look, you cannot blame me, okay?  When God sends you one of Her own angels looking for fashion assistance, you do NOT turn them away, _capice_? 

And big blue eyes go wide and okay, maybe he might not have time for the makeover I have in mind for him, but still, seriously, he was in dire need of fashion help here and I owe it to every _person_ on this planet to make sure he walks out of my store suitably outfitted.  "So, okay, I don’t want to freak you out here, but I can get you all set up nicely - how much time you got?”

“Um. Pretty much free today,” he shrugs.  “Just…. all the choices are a bit overwhelming, y'know?”

I smile at him.  “Sweetie.  You are in safe hands with me."  I introduce myself. 

He says his name is Steve. 

So basically, I steer him away from some truly _heinous_ choices but apparently, he can pull off suspenders - he just needed better pants to go with and to show off that fine, _fine_ behind.  Also, I have to shamelessly admit I grabbed shirts that were deliberately a size slightly smaller than they should, because shoulders and arms like that should _not_ be covered up.  It would be an actual fucking felony.  

And finally, I convince him to walk out of my store in at least _one_ outfit we’ve put together because apparently, you can _guilt_ him into doing things!  "Sweetie, you are doing my store a _favor_ if you walk out here looking _this_ good.  Please.  I’m begging you.  I will throw in one outfit for free if you let me take a picture and I solemnly swear my boss will _thank_ me for it.”

He laughs.  But he doesn’t take the freebie, although he does walk out of the store in one of those _sinfully_ tight t-shirts and the new jeans. 

It’s not until a _lot_ later that I realize who Steve really is. 

But at that point, he’s become a regular.   And he still gets t-shirts in a specific size, courtesy of moi. 

Also a _lot_ later, Steve drags in his equally gorgeous boyfriend, who could also rock out suspenders.  Who knew?

“So this is where you get your shirts,” Boyfriend says, giving me a Look that said quite clearly, _I know what you’re up to._

I look coolly back, hoping that I clearly communicate, _I am doing humanity a service, thanks._

He smiles at me.  Damn, _son._ And then Steve smiles at both of us and I’m like _god damn, where’s a public health warning when you need it?_

Steve and Bucky walk out of my store suitably outfitted again.  Also I got pictures. 

And today? I get surprised by _flowers_ and a note written in this beautiful, old-fashioned script. 

_Thanks for putting Steve in those t-shirts.  You’re a gift and a treasure.  - Bucky Barnes_

Yeah, I think I’ll be working in retail a little while longer…

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these ficlets and headcanons appear in my [Stucky](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/tagged/stucky) posts at the Blanket Fort. My challenge to myself is to grab these headcanons and ficlets and refine them and see if I can draw a longer story out.


End file.
